Stitchin, bitchin... and ending patriarchy

— Pip's Perspective

From the 1st — 4th February, anarcha-feminists from all over Aotearoa gathered at Marama-iti for a marathon of meetings, workshops, skill-shares and delicious meals. The Stitch 'n' Bitch will hopefully be the first of many regular national conferences at which womyn can get inspired, recharged and organised for regional anarcha-feminist activities.

Our experiences at the anarchist talkfest in Christchurch last year prompted a re-realisation for many womyn that we need to be organising separately around feminist issues, as well as getting together to socialise and support each other. The organisation of the Stitch 'n' Bitch was a fairly hurried and haphazard affair driven by the feeling that “we really need to do something.” We're taking stumbling steps at the moment, but the anarcha-feminist dragon has been snoozing a while and is just lumbering to her feet again.

Among the things drawing her from her cave are the recent revelations of rape and sexual abuse in our community. We were lucky to have at the conference two womyn who have been involved in dealing with a sexual abuser in Wellington. They explained to us the process their group has been through and provoked lengthy discussions about how we can best protect our community, support survivors and deal with rapists.

It was good to finally talk about these issues in a relatively safe and respectful space. However, these conversations took us right into the sexist heart of darkness and we did struggle to find ways of talking which were emotionally safe but not ridiculously abstract. We also felt stretched between wanting to find solutions to these problems and needing to provide a space for women to talk about their experiences, a process which is at the heart of feminist politics in any case. It was obvious that too few opportunities for this exist, and one of the projects to come out of the conference is plans for a support group for survivors of rape and sexual abuse.

It really grieved me to see that such a huge part of what it means to be a womyn in our society is surviving sexual violence. I was really angry that so many amazing womyn had been hurt in this way, that so much life, energy and creativity has been sapped by it. At the same time, the strength with which they survive is incredible, and an inspiration we will need if we are ever to heal our world.

We also covered the herstory of Anarcha-fem in Aotearoa, facilitation, mental health, natural fertility, the zine and where we're headed next. We ran out of time and energy for many important discussions, such as Tino Rangatiratanga, sexuality, economics, affinity groups, armed struggle... (you name it, it was on the agenda) but hopefully as we grow in strength we will be able to spend more time looking outwards.

Of course there was a celebratory side to our gathering and we had a wonderful time swimming in the sea, dancing in the rain, sitting round a fire eating choccy bananas, doing a bit of sewing and lots of chatting with a bunch of wonderful women. It was really energising to see new faces and especially to have kids around.

We realised that having a conference mid-week is a problem for many women, and that stretching it out to 4 days didn't help us achieve that much more. It was also really, really hot! So the next conference will hopefully be a weekend near midwinter in Papaioea or Te Upoko o te Ika a Maui (i.e. somewhere in the lower North Island), but we need suggestions and enthusiasm.

Huge thanks to Jeff and Lucy for hosting us, you have created an amazing space at Marama-iti. Also to everyone involved in organising, especially Ali and Tara for the wonderful food. And to everyone who came for making the magic of sisterhood and solidarity.

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